Deceased David
Originally Written: October 30th, 2020
This Version Written: November 21st, 2022
The internet. Some say the greatest invention since the light bulb. Others say it is the root of all evil. While it certainly isn’t as bad as that, one would find it hard to disagree that sometimes, dark things can fester on the world wide web. You never know what kind of sick person can lurk behind a screen. Their life untold, their history a mystery. Every day, we see viral videos come and go, faster than rabbits. But do we ever stop to think of who these people are? This is the untold story of one of those people, David Daniels.
His tale has earned the title of ‘cyber legend’ among users of the net. It has been told many times, but never to complete accuracy. The story is so horrid and grisly in fact, that those who have tried to tell it in its truest form have had their attempts quickly removed from several websites. This is the story of a boy with a burning desire to obtain the epic high score of internet fame, but took it a few steps too far. This is the cautionary tale of ‘Deceased David’.
David Daniels was a young teenager, 11 years of age. He consistently wore blue jeans, merchandise of his favorite YouTube influencers (most commonly, his blue Smosh t-shirt), and a dark green hooded jacket. He had brown, medium hair (akin to the likeness of Anthony Padilla) which almost obscured half his face, but didn’t, as he didn’t want to cover his fashionable sunglasses hiding both of his eyes. Why did he wear these glasses? Nobody knew at the time, but some would soon find out. And the answer would shake them to their core.
As a baby, David was abandoned by his birth parents, who left him in front of the local orphanage. When the orphanage master opened the door, she wondered who would be so cruel as to leave their own child, their own flesh and blood, on a doorstep. But she would quickly understand, as she took one look into the child’s eyes and immediately realized he was not to be trusted. She picked him up and quickly purchased a plane ticket to Joseph, Oregon, the worst place she knew. Upon arrival, she dropped David onto the doorstep of the first house she saw, rang the doorbell, and ran. She decided that the evil was now their problem, not hers.
A young couple, Anthony and Margaret Daniels, would open the door shortly after. They had been unable to have a child, and when they saw one show up at their doorstep, they believed it to be a miracle and a blessing. He would be named after Anthony’s favorite ‘Battle for Dream Island’ character later that day. Little did they know, this boy was not a miracle nor a blessing. In fact, he was quite the opposite. The moment he arrived would change the trajectory of their lives forever…
David would grow up during the age of the world wide web. At age 5, he was given his first iPad, which he would use to browse the YouTube app. He took a liking to meme content, funny skits, comedy videos and parodies. He watched a gameplay video here and there, but he wanted to be among the greats of online entertainment. His dream was to make his very own ‘Viral Video’, and join the likes of Smosh in the internet hall of fame. He decided then that nothing would stop him. Although time had moved past the channels he watched, David did not. On one particular day, his father tried to introduce him to the cartoon ‘Battle for Dream Island', however David quickly dismissed the idea as he viewed a show about objects competing for a silly prize as “babyish”. This would enrage Anthony, and forever strain their relationship. Margaret would be David’s favorite parent from this day onward, and Anthony would not speak to him for years to come.
At age 9, he was given his first laptop, where he could start to produce content of his own. He created a ‘YouTube Channel’ of his own called ‘ultradavidproductions2011’ which amassed 2 subscribers, both of which were his parents. However, at school, he was an outcast, a freak. The other students thought his obsession with cyber-fame was “weird”, and so they all quickly deemed him a twerp. A dweeb, even. David wanted nothing more than to kill these people. A deep, seething hatred for his opponents would fester during his time at school. And these urges would not leave him. He would frequently hear voices from the back of his mind, demons that had stuck with him since he was a baby. These voices would tell him to do horrific things, which David considered many times. However he decided it would be too much effort for now.
One day, David would be picked on by some students yet again. Only this time, the outcome would be much different.
“Hey David, got any subscribers yet, loser? Hahahaha!” they said.
“Actually, I already have 2 so shut up!” David replied.
“Who are they, your mommy and daddy?”
They were.
“You guys probably watch Jake Paul and Logan Paul, anyway!” David rebutted, but this did not stop the hate comments. And unlike YouTube, there was no way to simply ‘Delete’ them. This saddened David. However, suddenly a boy with blonde, spiky hair and a dark sweater would approach the group of scoundrels and say two words.
“Back off.”
He then lifted his ‘Middle Finger’ towards them. The students began to pick on him as well, only this time, he would fight back. David watched in awe as his mortal enemies were having their a**es kicked by a mysterious and bad*ss student he had never seen before. He even kicked one of the normies in the face, which was pretty cool in my opinion.
“We surrender!” the students cried, before fleeing the playground.
The boy smirked, crossed his arms and started to tap his foot, showing that he was quite a chill guy. David noticed this.
“Thanks for getting rid of those haters for me, bro,” David said, “But why me?” The boy then removed his sweater, revealing PewDiePie ‘Bro-Fist’ merchandise underneath.
“Because I’m like you," he answered. “And those kids ain’t nothing but a bitch lasagna.”
David’s eyes lit up as he understood the reference, although you couldn’t tell because at this point he had already purchased the iconic shades which hid any emotion his eyes conveyed.
“Name’s Ryan, and my favorite YouTubers are PewDiePie and MrBeast.” He said.
David got up from the ground and held his hand out for a handshake.
“My name is David, and my favorite YouTubers are Smosh and Tobuscus.”
“Well, David,” Ryan said, “I think we’re going to be good friends.”
David had finally made his first friend, and more importantly, gained a third subscriber to ultradavidproductions2011. When he got home, he celebrated in his room as this meant he could finally create a comedy skit with more than one person. His dream was finally starting to come true. Or so he thought…
Two years later, David would attend his first year of Middle School. He was completely alone this time, as Ryan had moved to the forest. There was no chance of a collaboration now, unless he could make new friends. However, this would prove to be very difficult because in his new school, he was ostracized yet again. As more students pestered him for his aspirations, he would wish so badly for a real life ‘Block and Report’ button. Santa Claus ignored his wishes each year despite it being marked very clearly on his Christmas list. Eventually, David realized this was no use and decided to take matters into his own hands. This was the moment David finally lost his mind.
Every day, he would practice shouting “SHUT UP!” from Smosh’s intro in the likely event that students would try to pick on him again. He would frequently interrupt dull lessons with his practice sessions, although it seemed as though each time, nobody got the reference he was making. It was a shame, but it was worth it to see the look on Mr. Sawyer’s face when he absolutely trolled him. He got into trouble and got sent to detention very often at school. The final straw was on the day he drew the ‘Rage-Comic’ face on the whiteboard while the teacher left the room. He was expelled from the school for being a general nuisance and an embarrassment to all who attended, but David didn’t care. He took this as a positive to his life. All it meant to him was more time to surf the web and start cooking up some viral videos to get as many hits as possible.
His parents, however, did not see it the same way. As they drove him home from school for the final time, they realized they had made a big mistake buying him that iPad. They knew his obsession would only lead him to dark places. They had to do something. Anthony did not speak to David at all since his son’s refusal to immerse himself in Jacknjellify’s magnum opus, so Margaret took it upon herself to talk to David on her own later that day.
David was partying to himself in his room, playing the song “I Keep Holding On” by Dr on loop through his laptop speakers. He heard a knock at his door. It was his mother.
“David, sweetie.” she said. “Could you pause the music for a second?”
“No.” David replied.
“Oh.” She continued anyway as the music kept playing, “I need to talk to you about today. Why did you get yourself expelled? Your father and I are worried about you.”
David was not in the mood for confrontation.
“If you must know, Mom, I did it for the vine.”
The 'Vine' app had been shut down for years, but David simply thought the phrase sounded cool. “I wouldn’t expect a normie like you to understand,” he said, before smirking and high-fiving himself. “Now if you excuse me, I gotta party all day!” He continued dancing to the music.
Margaret couldn’t bear the sight of what her son had become. Could she have prevented such a tragic downward spiral? Was there anything she could do now? She had to try something. But what she tried would prove to be the second worst decision she had ever made in her entire life.
“That’s it,” She said sternly, “I’m taking away your laptop until you can stop obsessing over these ‘memes’ of yours. You will NEVER be like the Smosh brothers if you keep this up.”
These were the words to finally break David. This was the moment he finally snapped and lost all insanity.
“They. Are not. Brothers.” He said, clenching his fist. The demons within him were louder than they ever had been. They spoke to him in a clear, deep voice.
“KILL YOUR PARENTS, DAVID,” they said, “THEY ARE MERELY OBSTACLES, STANDING IN THE WAY OF YOUR DESTINED INTERNET STARDOM. SECURE YOUR FUTURE.”
David was hesitant at first. Could he really kill his parents? The very people who took him in when nobody else would? He did not want to do it. But then he did it. He slaughtered his own mother… In cold blooded. As the part of the song that goes “and my hope will never die” played, he picked up the lamp in his room and hit his mother directly in the heart. She fell down. Death was instant. He was horrified at what he had done for a brief moment but quickly realized that she was a wicked beast who needed to die.
His father heard the ruckus and swiftly entered the room. He saw his beloved wife’s lifeless body on the floor. He had no choice but to finally speak to his son again for the first time in 6 years.
“DAVID! What have you done?! My wife is DEAD because of you. You truly are a ‘Whack Job’. We never should have taken you in… We should have left you on the street where we found you. No, we should have THROWN YOU IN THE GARBAGE!” he yelled, while crying. However, these emotional insults didn’t faze David in the slightest.
David removed his sunglasses to show his father what truly laid beneath his savage spectacles. His eyes were glowing a bright, demonic red. His possession was apparent. Anthony quickly realized that the boy they had taken in that day was not merely a child, but a vessel of pure insanity beyond reason. He had entered Beast Mode. Anthony knew this was the end. He said "Aw, seriously?" David did not understand this reference as he still had not watched BFDI.
David began to sing to the tune of Toby Turner’s “Mine The Diamond”.
“It’s about time that I killed my father!
It’s about time that I killed my father!
It’s about time that I killed my father!”
He started leaping towards Anthony, which scared him a little. He tried to escape, but it was no use. With one final line from David, his father’s fate was sealed.
"Hope my father doesn’t mind when I kill him!”
He punched his father in the nose, and then in the brain, killing him instantly. It was done. David’s two biggest obstacles were no longer an issue to him.
David took all his devices including his laptop and iPad, placed his father next to his mother, and burned the entire house down. Once he was outside, he realized the view of his ignited house could make for a funny shot and/or cutaway gag in a potential skit of his, so he turned on his iPad, opened the ‘Camera’ app and started recording his home, which at this point was completely ablaze. He couldn’t resist the urge to set the camera to ‘Selfie Mode’, get himself in the shot, and shout at the top of his lungs, “LIKE A BOSS!” while smiling at the camera. He chuckled to himself, as the recording was quite reminiscent of the 'Disaster Girl' meme.
Why did this happen? Well, as you may recall from earlier, David finally snapped and let the demons from hell take control of him. They fueled his desires, and made him stop at nothing to get what he wanted. After this, nothing would stop him from grabbing his dream. Not even the two people who raised him.
However, after this incident, David realized he may have made a terrible mistake. Although the achievement was unlocked, the truth of the matter hit him like a truck. He had just lost two subscribers and his house. He had nowhere to go, and his sub count was at an all-time low. The only person he had left was… His childhood best friend, Ryan.
David made his way through the forest. He knew Ryan lived in a shack somewhere out there, all he had to do was find it, and then he could finally fulfill his dream and create his very own viral video with Ryan’s help. Before the incident, David had tried absolutely everything, even the Sour Sweet challenge, but it was to no avail. Zero hits every time. But now that he was free, he had more time and freedom to really think of something good. He had to do this, or everything he did would have all been for nothing. It’s what his parents would have wanted.
It took a total of 4 hours of walking through the wilderness to find what he was looking for. An isolated shack in the middle of the woods, with light coming from inside. He knew this must be Ryan. He knocked on the door gleefully, however this feeling would not last, as when he opened the door he saw none other than Jake Paul himself standing there. He started singing “It’s Everyday Bro” as he took a step back to reveal the entirety of Team 10 standing behind him. David hated Team 10. He found this song to be utterly embarrassing, and began to cringe. He couldn’t take it anymore. “This must be hell,” he thought, “I must have died and went to hell”. The foreshadowing would not hit David just yet. David woke up from the nightmare, relieved that it was not real. He was not living in a 'Cringe Compilation' after all. He was laying on a bed in Ryan’s shack, and saw him holding his favorite food, a chicken nugget between two biscuits, all dipped in mashed potato.
“Ah, Damn Daniels! You’re finally awake.” Ryan greeted David while referencing one of his favorite ‘Vines’ and favorite ‘Skyrim’ memes simultaneously.
“Ryan! It’s been too long… Too long indeed…”
David began to scarf down the food he had been presented with. He was delighted that Ryan still remembered his favorite feast.
“What were you doing out there?” Ryan asked, “You must have been walking around for hours with no food or drinks!” He pulled out some ‘Mountain Dew’ from his refrigerator. David eagerly grabbed the can and drank all of its contents in approximately ten seconds.
“My house burned down and my parents died. Do you wanna collab?” David asked.
“Sure.”
David put his Laptop and iPad on the table and said “Let’s meme.”
Their plan was to record and upload a sort of comedy video similar to that of a Tom ‘Ska’ or Smosh skit. Ryan and David’s characters would argue over something rather petty and trivial, before breaking out into a fight while Kevin Macleod’s “Movement Proposition” played. The video would end with David kicking Ryan in the face and declaring himself victorious. The outro music would be Kevin Macleod’s “Cut and Run”, and David would do a little victory dance.
After many takes, edits and cuts, they had done it. They knew this was the one. This was going to be the video to make it big. They watched the final video on David’s iPad, and giggled and jumped around in delight upon witnessing the finished product. This may just be the funniest thing the world would ever see. They began to upload it to David’s ultradavidproductions2011 channel, and watched it one last time on the iPad. However, Ryan accidentally swiped left and it showed the next video saved onto the iPad. It was the recording of David’s burning house. David began to sweat nervously.
“David, what’s this?” He asked.
“Umm…. Erm… Just a bit of dark humor.” David replied, knowing a man of culture like Ryan would understand. But it was too late, Ryan played the video and saw David in front of his burning house, shouting “LIKE A BOSS!” at the top of his lungs. It was over, David’s dark secrets were out. Ryan had discovered what really happened, and who his best friend really was.
“David… What the f***********************k. Dude!” Ryan was horrified. His reaction was somewhat similar to the ‘Dramatic Chipmunk’ video, which David noticed and thought was quite funny. He chuckled for a second before realizing the gravity of the situation. He knew he had to tell him the truth.
“Ryan. Please, you have to understand… The demons… they.. they tell me to do bad things….. They made me kill my parents and burn my house down…..… They had control over me…….. I had NO CHOICE!!!” David explained, but it was no use, Ryan refused to listen. He backed away slowly and said, “I’m sorry David, but you’re too dangerous to be left alive!” (star wars meme reference)
David’s demons spoke to him yet again, this time, louder than ever. They said “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, DAVID. HE KNOWS TOO MUCH ABOUT YOUR TWISTED SINS. KILL HIM. DESTROY HIM…” He was hesitant at first, just like with his parents, but he quickly realized his potential viral meme was already uploading onto the web, meaning Ryan was no longer needed. David said “Ok.”
This was the beginning of his descent into madness. At this point he had lost all remorse and feelings. He was bad. He reached for the empty can of Mountain Dew and threw it towards Ryan’s face. Ryan, being more skilled in combat, dodged it. They started fighting and it was a little crazy. They fell outside and continued to brawl. David was getting impatient, he had to kill him, FAST. He knew he had to activate full demon power. So he did. The demons gave him power and he became more powerful and started floating in the air with power. His glasses fell off and Ryan saw the darkness within him. His eyes were glowing red, with tears of blood falling from them. He let out a demonic scream, with the words he had been rehearsing for so long.
“SHUT UP!” (smosh reference) David yelled, before charging up his full demon powers.
He unleashed a demonic blast upon Ryan, But Ryan was too skilled. He jumped up, dodged the beam, and kicked David in the head as hard as he could. David then lost all brain damage. He fell to the ground, the glow of his eyes fading away as he passed on. It was over. Or so Ryan thought…
Ryan could not believe what he just did. He killed his best friend. He didn’t want to think about David anymore, it would bring him too much pain. He quickly moved his corpse away and went to his shack to open David’s laptop. The upload was 99% complete. After what just happened, the last thing Ryan wanted was for this video to go viral… So he moved the mouse over to the ‘Cancel Upload’ button. But before he could click it, he heard the sound of a big hell portal opening and closing behind him. David’s body was gone.
What happened? Well you see, when David died from the fight, the demons inside him grabbed him and sent his body and soul to the hell dimension, where they would bring him back to life in a new, creepier form. In hell, The demons chanted and said to David “THIS WAS ONLY THE BEGINNING OF YOUR REIGN. YOU AREN’T FINISHED WITH THIS WORLD YET. RISE. RISE. RISE!” The power engulfed David, altering his appearance. David said “Ok” and was sent back into the mortal realm to teach his final remaining subscriber a lesson.
Ryan looked back and saw David standing up again, only it wasn’t the David he knew anymore. The man of culture he met at school was gone. Deceased, so to speak. This was the moment David lost his mind. His skin was gray, like a rotting corpse. His eyes were glowing red yet again, with blood still running down his face. Only this time, it didn’t stop. There was a nasty bloody scar on David’s forehead where Ryan kicked him. Ryan knew David was merely a zombified shell of who he once was, but he did look kind of cool & badas*. Unfortunately, Ryan also knew that this was the end for him, so he gave himself one final PewDiePie-style ‘Bro-Fist’ before David approached him with malice in his eyes.
David shouted “MORTAL KOMBAT!!” like from the song, then started punching and kicking Ryan really fast like in the game. After shouting “FINISH HIM!” He used a final ‘Combo Move’ to end Ryan, and then punched him into the ground. David performed a little victory dance to celebrate what can only be described as an epic win. He found his cool sunglasses on the floor, picked them up and put them on, completing his iconic look. He entered the shack to check his laptop, and saw that the video upload was complete. Ryan was too late. He was going to become a sensation, and he knew it. He took his laptop and iPad, and walked off into the woods to find a new home.
Shortly after the epic battle between David and Ryan, police discovered what was left of David’s house. His parents were also found burnt to a crisp alongside the remains of the building. The next day, they would discover Ryan’s shack, and Ryan’s body with it. They immediately knew David was the perpetrator, as he was still missing and also had connections to all three victims. Police have been trying to track him down ever since the incident, but the only clue they could find was a YouTube video uploaded to a channel called ‘ultradavidproductions2011’ titled “EPIC FIGHT COMEDY SKIT (MAKE THIS GO VIRAL)”. As of today, he is still at large. If you have any information on the whereabouts of David Daniels, age 11, please contact us. Stay safe.
EPILOGUE
As David aimlessly wandered around the woods, he thought he’d better settle down here for now. Nobody would find him if he stayed here in the middle of nowhere. After a few days of moving around and eating various animals in the forest, he saw something rather peculiar on one of the trees. A page. How strange… He didn’t have time to think about what it was before he heard a deep, frightening voice behind him.
“David.”
David turned around in terror. What he saw startled him. It was a man. But he was tall and thin. Slender, so to speak. His skin was pale white, and he had no facial features. David immediately recognized him as the creepypasta that haunted his and many others’ nightmares for years.
“Slender man,” David said to him, “How do you know my name?”
“Because,” Slenderman said, “You’re trending.”
He pulled out his phone to show David’s skit with 1 billion hits. After the news broke of the murders, he became the number 1 most wanted man in the world. The case caught the attention of various ‘Web Forums’ and Blogs, making David the most viral man on the net. His notoriety and infamy gave him the greatest cyber-success he could have wished for. He got what he wanted, and now everyone on the world wide web knows his name.
David jumped in the air and said “LET’S-A-GO!”, a reference to that plumber I think. He was delighted. However, The Slender Man had more to say.
“I’ve seen what you’re capable of, David, and I am impressed. What do you say a bunch of guys like us team up? Maybe we could do some good…”
David was quick to respond with “Or we could do some BAD…” This is exactly what Slenderman wanted to hear.
“You are exactly who I have been looking for,” Slenderman said. He reached his hand out to David and said one last thing.
“It’s time to show the world the true meaning of horror.”
They both set off deeper into the woods to prepare their reign of terror. This would be the beginning…
Of the end…
